You Might be a Redneck Jedi if...

- Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color.

- You have ever used your lightsaber to open 
   a bottle of Jack Daniel's.

- At least one wing of your X-Wing is Bondo 
   colored.

- There is a blaster rack in the back of your 
   landspeeder.

- You have bantha horns on the front of your 
   landspeeder.

- You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok 
   without using the word "chicken".

- You can find no grammatical errors in the 
   way Yoda talks.

- You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK 
   members with really good sheets.

- You can levitate yourself using a force from 
   within, but not THE Force.

- You have ever had an A-wing up on blocks in 
   your yard.

- You ever lost a hand during a lightsaber 
   fight because you had to spit.

- Your master ever said, "My finger you will 
   pull..hmmm?"

- The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is 
   the dadgum skeeters.

- Wookies are offended by your B.O., and tell you 
  you need to shave.

- You have ever used the Force to get yourself 
   another beer so you didn't have to wait for 
   a commercial.

- Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son 
   come on over to the Dark Side -- it'll be a 
   hoot."

- You have ever had your R-2 unit use its 
   self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the 
   barbecue grill to light.

- You have ever used the Force to get ahead in 
   fishing or bowling.

- The moonshine still you built on Endor is 
   hidden so well even the Ewoks can't find it.

- You have a stuffed womp rat anywhere in your 
   home.

- You think the symbol for the Rebel Alliance 
   should be the Confederate flag.

- More than half the droids you own don't 
   function.

- The number of blasters you own exceeds your 
   I.Q.

- You wonder why Luke and Leia gave up on 
   getting married.

- You used a carbon-freezing chamber to mount 
   the Wampa you shot while on vacation on Hoth.

- Your moonshine is made on a real moon.

- You don't like wearing a Jedi robe because 
   it prevents access to the dip stored in your 
   back pocket.

- Sandpeople back down from your mama.

- You've ever used Jedi mind control to talk 
   your way out of a speeding ticket or DUI.

- You built an outhouse over the Sarlaac.

- You've ever strangled someone with the Force 
   because they laughed at your accent.

- You wrapped a landspeeder around a cactus while 
   trying to light a cigarette with your lightsaber.

- You don't think the Ewoks are primitive.

- You think an AT-AT looks like a giant cow.

- You think Jabba's pig guards are a clean and
  sophisticated bunch.

- The Rancor monster refused to eat you.

- You consider your lightsaber the ultimate bug 
   zapper.

- You think the theme song to the movie made
  about your life ought to be "Achy Breaky Heart",
  as composed by John Williams.

-You discover that your greatest enemy is, 
  in fact, your father.  And your uncle. And 
  your brother...