The following has been collected from various sources, not the least of which being my overactiver imagination. It is meant as a work of humour, so keep that in mind before you come after me with the pie guns or rotten eggs.

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

(font provided by Des Meergan)

The Series

Goliath:
Because its clan had been destroyed, and it had no more reason to protect the coop.

Demona:
Because the blasted humans forced it to!

Hudson:
A chicken can no more stop crossing the road than breathing the air.

Angela:
It wanted to explore the world and meet its chicken forefathers.

Broadway:
It wanted to solve the mystery of where all the corn went.

Elisa:
Because it had a duty to perform.

Matt:
(darkly) I don't know yet, but I'm going to find out.

Chavez:
So long as it's not asking for vacation time, it can cross any road it wants.

Titania:
(says nothing, only smiles mysteriously)

Oberon:
Because unlike some people, it answered the call to the Gathering.

Xanatos:
The chicken is secondary. The real goal was the henhouse.

Owen:
Crossing is its own reward.

Fox:
Because it wanted to be a star.

Alexander:
*squeal-burble* *chicken switches bodies with Bronx*

Bronx:
Cluck?

Puck:
Because the coop was getting so dull. *zaps Bronx back*

TGS

Brooklyn:
Because it had to go and pick up the stupid Gate, that's why. *grumble*

Sata:
It was the only honorable thing to do.

Lexington:
Because it couldn't tell the other chickens that it had become a cyber-chicken.

Madoc:
Send out the call. Gather our followers to us. The Crossing has begun!

Maeve:
I don't know, but I can *encourage* the chicken to relate the information.

Gargfic

Christine Morgan:
The hot night smouldered inside the chicken. She waited for him, tiny heart fluttering beneath her snowy breast. In the moonlight, she was a hen-goddess, glowing for him. His fear forgotten, he moved to her, low lucking noises coming from his throat. Every rustle of her wings, every tilt of her head giving him brief glimpses of what lay beneath her feathers, made him want her.

A Fan:
The chicken clicked once on the channel changer, and became the program.

Stephen Sobotka:
From nowhere, Puck appeared and offered him this one gift: be human by day, chicken by night. He could cross like any other.

Aaron Ziegler:
In another universe, the chicken did cross the road, and spent eternity regretting the decision.

Christi Smith Hayden:
The thing is, it was not truly a chicken, but secretly half-human as well. When it crossed, it took the other chickens with it, including its one true love. One of its relatives was kidnapped by the farmer, but the half-chicken caught and hog-tied the farmer, and then the family had a picnic.

Nancy Brown:
Of course the chicken crossed. In its peephood, something happened to it, something that gave it no choice when the time came but to cross.

Tara O'Shea:
The chicken's silvery eyes glittered eldritch in the glow of the oncoming Pinto. She shimmered green and reappeared beside the road. "You could have just walked," said Owen, irritably.

Ryan Stout:
The chicken checked its weaponry again. The AK-47 semiautomatic shifted uncomfortably in his wings. Across the road was his android mate. With a snarl, the chicken leapt into the middle of the road, spraying the oncoming limo with bullets as he shouted, "Take this, Xanatos!" The gun spat its last, and he dove for cover.

Station 8

Gorebash:
If you click on the chicken, it'll cross the screen.

Greg Weisman:
That's a long story, and I don't feel like telling it right now. Ask me again later.

Laudre:
This chicken can't make up its mind. One minute, it's running across the road, the next, pecking at the median strip. It is very little like the earlier chickens, save in coloring.

Blaise:
**** A chicken pokes its head up at one side of the road, looks both ways, then makes a mad dash for the other side, feathers flying everywhere. It flops down on the opposite shoulder, and begins to make clucking noises. It stands up, revealing an egg, which tilts, shakes and cracks open. Blaise steps out. **** Hi everybody.

Todd Jensen:
CHICKENS - The origin of the chicken legend is quite interesting. The first reported chicken riddle was told at the court of Arthur, by Sir Bedivere.

Clan Whiptail:
Penguins don't cross roads.

Thomas Forsyth:
Because the doctrine of road-crossing has been a part of its beliefs for centuries.

Patrick Toman:
25 days until the chicken crosses the road.

Merlin Missy:
*Merlin, dressed in tar and feathers, walks into the room and drops a note. You read: "Click on my name for a chicken-related fanfic where somebody tried to answer that very question." Clucking, she leaves.*

Batya Levin:
Here's the schedule of crossings. Now will you please be patient and let the chicken cross?

JEB:
Click on my name for the Gargoyles Encyclopedia entry for chickens.

DumlaoX:
*dashing across the road* First!

The Universe of Christine Morgan (courtesy of Ms. M herself)

Aiden
I didn't mean to turn him into a chicken!

Jericho
The chicken crossed the road because its so-called father abandoned the eggs and left them to be raised by humans!

Elektra
It could no longer hide its parentage, and feared its clan might reject it, knowing it was half goose.

Gustav Sevarius
Because its subliminal programming was triggered.

Send all rotten eggs to missy@reimer.com.
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