THE BABY SISTER'S HERE
(tune: "The Babysitter's Here," Dar Williams)
(words: Merlin Missy, Batya the Toon)

This one was just great
She negotiated peace
Now she's drawn us a treaty and told the Cardassians,
"Don't get pushy"
I don't understand how she managed to win
With just a nacelle and a bent safety pin
But there's angst and romance...

She's the guest star that we never had
With long golden hair, and Picard is her dad
And she sits on the Bridge and she's got Guinan's ear
So it's "Warp speed, Ensign,"
The baby sister's here!

She's sweet but she's tough
And a genius, and all of the rest
But she looks up to Scully, and all the Lone Gunmen
Think she's the best, and
When did the aliens come down to Earth?
Will she ever discover the truth of her birth
And survive to tell it...?

(Spoken:) Someday I'll write a story _just_ like that.

She's the guest star that we never had
With bright auburn hair (she says Mulder's her dad)
She got mad at Skinner and he disappeared
But the truth is out there,
The baby sister's here!

And we all went to see her play Quidditch at Hogwarts
We just had to look up
She told us that she'd be the Ravenclaw Seeker
And win them the cup
And Voldemort hates her, and Snape wants her dead,
And Malfoy keeps trying to get her in bed
And she flies...

(Spoken:)  Okay, so ... the story is called "The Baby Sister," and _she's_ 
the baby sister, so that means that the star is ... MY new character!

The Hellmouth is closed,
And she's gasped her penultimate breath
She says "Tell Dad I'm sorry"
And in Xander's arms she goes limp in death
And he holds her close in the thundering rain
And Willow and Buffy are weeping in pain
'Cause she's gone forever...

She was the guest star that we never had
With deep purple eyes (I think Giles was her dad)
And I'm bringing her back for the sequel next year,
So watch out, bad guys,
The baby sister's here.
The next baby sister's here.